Family Traditions
I guess I was putting off getting Mom the present that comes every Christmas. In fact, it wouldn't be Christmas without them.
Dish Towels.
It's a family tradition.
The first Christmas Mom/Dad were married, they couldn't afford very much. Dad got Mom dish towels and said for as long as he loved her, she'd always find dish towels wrapped and under the tree.
And she did.
His last Christmas with us, he was in ICU and when Mom stepped out of his room, I asked him if he wanted me to buy her anything. His eyes filled with tears, he didn't need to ask me.
Christmas Day, we took some presents to him and I took the dish towels for Mom. She wasn't expecting them, because we'd opened all our other gifts at home before we went to the hospital.
Last year, I just couldn't break the tradition. It's always the last present she opens. I know she wasn't expecting them. But some how, it's not Christmas in our family without them.
It was hard for me to buy the dish towels this year, harder than last. I think because it's a concrete reminder that he's no longer able to do it.
A lot has happened in our lives this past year. Most of it good, but there's still this compelling sadness.
Life is not bad. It's just different.
Updated: 1/5/07
